Today was a hard day for me. Today marked one year since I found out my Corey had passed away. I remember that night like it was yesterday, listening frantically for the heartbeat, feeling that pit in my stomach, getting the news from the doctor, and my whole world crashing down around me. This baby was different, although I hold all my losses in my heart. I had felt this baby move, seen this baby on ultrasound, connected. My world will never be the same.
For those who don't know I felt the need to name my babies in alphabetical order...Aerin, Bailey, Corey and Drew. I didn't know the gender of any of my babies, although I'm pretty sure Corey was a girl. I just had that feeling from the beginning. Corey's name was going to be Kaitlyn Elizabeth, but in keeping with the alphabetical order I chose Corey as the angel name.
I do hold on to the faith that some day, in some way, I will be reunited with all my children. What a wonderful day that will be.
It's unknown if my health had anything to do with my losses. But this journey is not just one about being fit and eating healthy. It's about being healthy in body, mind and soul. I'm working on the body part, the mind is a bit slower going, and recognizing my baby today helps heal the soul.
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