Week 11...

Yup...week 11. One more week after this...10 more days till the final weigh in. I'm stressed. I haven't lost hardly anything since the 6 week weigh in. I know I've changed...clothes feel different, pants I just got a few weeks ago are too big already...but still...that weight...ugh, ugh, ugh. Hopefully I can pull off a good number the final week like I did with the last weigh in. Time to pump up the water intake.

It's hard to believe we're almost done. Have I reached all of my goals? No, definitely not, but I feel like I'm a good way there. I don't feel stuck in the should of's anymore. I'm in the doing mode, and will hopefully stay there for awhile.

The kids and I will all be glad when the competition aspect of this is over. We're not really a competitive family. I mean, we like to win, but I feel like we've all done our best...each family on our team has really tried hard. I don't think it's fair to say that there's one that has tried harder. Maybe one has achieved more...but I think we've all tried OUR BEST...at least I know our family has, and to think we might not "win" even when we tried our best??? We also came into this as a very out of shape family, whereas some had a few steps ahead of us...is that a fair measure?
Oh well, I know we won't "win" but I'm not going to give up this close to the end. I'm going to get the best possible number I can get, and when it's done and over I'll know I did my absolute best.

I'm going to try and get my head into the game this week as much as possible, focus on what I can do and push myself further than I've ever been pushed before. Hopefully make my trainer proud!

Monday week 6

Tonight Nicole told us that we were going to run a mile. Yeah, right I thought. Up to this point the longest I have run was 3 1/2 minutes (or about .2 of a mile). So I started and I was about ready to quit when I hit the 3 minute mark. So I said, surely I can make it to 4 minutes. I got there and thought, well no one else has stopped so I better keep going. I hit the 5 minute mark. Then came the 1/2 mile mark and I thought, I have NEVER run a half mile in my life! (okay maybe I did in grade school but I'm pretty sure I walked some of that). Still no one had quit so I wasn't going to either...I tried to focus on my breathing as my asthma was starting to kick in and I was feeling short of breath...I just kept moving and breathing. Mind you this was a very slow run LOL. Nicole kicked it up for a bit and I had to take it back down because I just couldn't catch my breathe, but once I did I finished up and hit that mile! ACK!!! I can't believe I did it!
Now I didn't do it quickly...12:34, but I finished, and I didn't walk.

Wednesday week 5

Hard to believe it's week 5 already. Next week is the first weigh-in. I'm nervous, and kind of cranky about it in all honesty. My weight fluctuates so much, and next week I'm due to fluctuate even more, if you know what I mean. Oh well, I'll do my best as usual.
Pain has seemed to hinder me lately. My knees and back have limited me on several things. Zumba last night was rough on my knees. I noticed last night on Biggest Loser people in ice baths...not sure I could handle that! Maybe some Icy Hot, but ice baths??? I'm also getting a bit of a cold...yuck.
The kids and I have a lot of responsibilities on our plate as well. Megan and Matthew have JBQ to practice for, and the three older ones have tons of homework of course. It's always an issue though. I wish there were two of me!
So just plugging through this week, trying to keep my head up and looking forward.

Saturday week 4

Today was a hard day for me. Today marked one year since I found out my Corey had passed away. I remember that night like it was yesterday, listening frantically for the heartbeat, feeling that pit in my stomach, getting the news from the doctor, and my whole world crashing down around me. This baby was different, although I hold all my losses in my heart. I had felt this baby move, seen this baby on ultrasound, connected. My world will never be the same.
For those who don't know I felt the need to name my babies in alphabetical order...Aerin, Bailey, Corey and Drew. I didn't know the gender of any of my babies, although I'm pretty sure Corey was a girl. I just had that feeling from the beginning. Corey's name was going to be Kaitlyn Elizabeth, but in keeping with the alphabetical order I chose Corey as the angel name.
I do hold on to the faith that some day, in some way, I will be reunited with all my children. What a wonderful day that will be.

It's unknown if my health had anything to do with my losses. But this journey is not just one about being fit and eating healthy. It's about being healthy in body, mind and soul. I'm working on the body part, the mind is a bit slower going, and recognizing my baby today helps heal the soul.

Wednesday week 4

I wish I could say that I feel amazing about this week. It's been a real mental struggle for me. A year ago on Saturday I lost my little angel Corey. It has been hard to process everything emotionally right now as there is so much going on. I'm sure stress has a lot to do with my performance at the gym and at home. I'm having a hard time focusing on the here and now and not the uncertainties of the future.

I'm also very sore. I feel weak...tired...wore out...I know I need to take a break but I'm afraid to. I don't want to be weak, I want to be strong. I feel like when I am at the gym and doing workouts they are only a fraction of what everyone else is doing, so by going to the gym every day I am trying to compensate for doing less. I'm not trying to do less...I just am struggling to keep up. I just feel like I'm falling apart in all areas. The kids are struggling in school, the house is a mess, I am forgetting and losing things left and right. I don't blame any of this on the gym or working out. I'm just tired I think.

With that said, I have to be strong. I have to pick myself up and keep going. It's just who I am.

Week 4

Crazy how it's already week 4. I was thinking this morning about how life has changed in the last month...here are a few examples...

Before: breakfast...for the kids: sugary cereal, pop tarts or no breakfast at all, french toast sticks with syrup MYSELF: cereal and coffee or McDonald's
After: for the kids: whole grain waffle with peanut butter, protein shake, or scrambled Egg Beaters with whole wheat toast MYSELF: Kashi waffle with Egg Beaters, Flatout with almond butter and preserves or Kashi granola bar with Greek yogurt

Before: Lunch...the kids: school lunch, normally pizza or nachos with chocolate milk and ice cream or chips MYSELF before: sandwich, chips, or burger and fries, school lunch maybe, After: (for Megan, the boys are still eating school lunch but are making better choices) low-sodium turkey on whole wheat bread, light cheese stick, fruit, water and maybe a granola bar or rice cakes MYSELF: after Flatout with almond butter and preserves or leftover fish with veggies, salad with tomatoes and lite dressing, grapefruit wedges.

Before: snacks for the kids: pop tarts, Cheeszits, cereal, cookies MYSELF: vending machine candy or chips, pretzels After: kids...cheese sticks, apples, rice cakes (really limited snacks in all honesty) MYSELF: Kashi bar

Before: Dinner for kids and myself: fast food drive thru...usually cheeseburger and fries or soft tacos, chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, toquitos, usually no veggies of any kind.

After: grilled chicken or fish, brown rice, broccoli, carrots or green beans, white chicken chili, chicken and cheese quesidillas on whole wheat tortillas (for a quick dinner), homemade chicken nuggets, squash.

As you can see, things have changed greatly. It will be interesting with the holidays coming up. Halloween means candy, and I will need to be on top of that. We did try and eat out yesterday for the first time. We went to Applebees, which I thought would be a good choice due to their 550 meals. Little did I know the sodium content on the meal! OMG! Megan's mini cheeseburgers were almost 500 calories EACH! (she only ate one). The meal was undercooked, overpriced and wayyyy disappointing. I walked away so disgusted, and now I realize why it's just not worth eating out.

So tonight is our first challenge...a bike challenge. I'm pretty sure I won't do well. My knees have gotten the best of me, as have Megan's, and I'd rather not injure myself. I'd rather stay in the competition than be benched for an injury, so while I will do my best, I'm not going to push myself over the edge.

It's been a good 4 weeks. I wish I would see more of a difference on the scale. 10lbs so far...wish it was more...a lot more, but 10 lbs is 10 lbs. Ben's grown 1/2 an inch and gained 4 lbs so that's great!

Wednesday week 3

Yeah, I'm tired. I'm also working a full week this week on top of everything. Saturday will be busy as well, so hopefully I can recover some on Sunday. Tonight was our weight workout with Nicole. She gave us a program to work as well as cardio, so twice a week on TOP of our twice a week with her we are to do our 45-60 minutes of cardio as well as our 45 minute weight routine...WHEW! Yeah, tough stuff.
We also have our first challenge on Monday...bikes...I'm not that great at bikes so it's going to be interesting. My legs may not be up to the challenge, but I'll do my best.
My knee has been giving me some trouble, and tonight my stomach is protesting something as well. Megan is struggling to find motivation, but I have to remind myself that she is only 11. I wish I hadn't had her count for points because I think it's going to hurt us more than anything. But I have to give her a chance. She's been trying as far as nutrition goes, but sometimes she just wants to emotionally eat. Tomorrow's nutrition class is on emotional eating, so hopefully that will help her as well.

Sunday week 2

Today's the last day of week 2. I've had a rough week. I have to admit I would feel more encouraged if I saw more of a result from my hard work. You get in your head that this is going to be like Biggest Loser, real life is dishes, kids, work, laundry, etc. It would be great to spend 12 weeks having my only responsibility be to work out, and have every other thing taken care of for me. Unfortunately that is not reality. Reality TV is rarely reality.

The kids continue to struggle with the nutrition aspect, and I can't say as though I blame them. These are foreign foods to them. I've always been one for convenience. Megan ate movie popcorn and regular soda today...she's going to be regretting that later.

Anyway, on to week 3...

2:3

Tonight I'm just plain tuckered out....After yesterday's workout I was feeling pretty sore last night and slept pretty miserably. I woke up at 4:45 and wasn't able to go back to sleep this morning. Worked today, hit the gym after work and then had the nutrition class. A lot of people are struggling with some of the same issues I have...getting picky kids to eat, finding quick and easy meals and finding the time to eat. We didn't have time to eat a proper dinner before workout and class tonight, so I had a quick Flat Out with almond butter and homemade preserves and off I went. It's definitely my standby. I think if I could just eat that for dinner every night I'd be good, but unfortunately the kids aren't very fond of it. So we got home around 8:15. Megan was starving. I threw some of the approved pasta on and topped it with some cooked chicken breast (cooked the chicken with the pasta....why not), a bit of sauce and then some leftover broccoli. I also had to make lunches for tomorrow. The whole process of making dinner and lunches (as well as some other typical evening stuff) took about 45 minutes...Honestly, not too bad, AND there's plenty of pasta and chicken left for another meal.
That's the thing...this IS doable...it takes some effort and flexibility...sometimes we have to just quit complaining and do it.
I think of it this way...if one of my kids had a medical condition that necessitated a certain diet or else they would be sick, wouldn't I MAKE time for that? Wouldn't that be a priority? Well, why wait for the medical condition? By making this a priority now, I'm PREVENTING life-long health problems. I keep telling my kids, get used to this because just because the competition is 12 weeks doesn't mean we're going back to the way we were...This isn't a game to us...this breaking those generational curses of obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, and diabetes.

Week 2:2

Last night I tried to go to the gym...well I did go to the gym but I only made it through a half a class of Zumba before my stomach really started cramping. I ended up hitting the therapy pool and doing a few slow laps and using the dumbells (which believe it or not I am feeling this morning) and then hitting the hot tub after the dude that was picking his armpit zit got out (EWWW!) The two older kids stayed home and caught up on homework.

Tonight is Nicole. I know it's going to be tough so I'm going to try to prepare myself nutritionally today. I admit I'm struggling a bit with the food portion...not because I want things not on the list but because it's a lot of food...I just can't stomach it all! It's just the bulk of all the veggies that is tough on my tummy.

Anyway, tonight's dinner is going to be broiled fish and butternut squash with some fresh lemon broccoli...sound good? Problem is, kids won't eat that. They'll eat the broccoli, Ben will eat the squash....Matthew will eat the fish...yeah, I feel like Jack Sprat and his wife! Not sure Zachary will eat any of it!

I made a really good white chicken chili that I've been having for lunches and such. I took navy beans, northern beans, (both drained and rinsed to get rid of the salt) cooked chicken breast, onion, baby carrots, a can of Rotel tomatoes, garlic, pepper and just about a 1/4 a package of white chicken chili spice mix and cooked it in the crockpot over night. I serve it with a spoonful of sour cream and a sprinkling of mozzarella cheese...YUM!

I've been packing Megan's lunch for school because the school choices normally consist of pizza, nachos, tuna sandwiches, or breaded chicken-like sandwiches all served with either french fries or tater tots and flavored milk. Fresh fruit is limited, salad is available, but in all honesty even if they did get the salad is there really much nutritional value in 1/4 a cup of lettuce covered in ranch dressing? Of course there are also Rice treats, chips, chocolate chip cookies, soft pretzels and "juice" available for purchase as well. UGH! Our school needs an intervention!

We were told NOT to work out before our workout tonight...which is probably good because I am not yet able to move my arms above my head! I think that's been the death of me...working out beforehand and not having the energy left for Nicole...time for a change I guess. I'll have to start working out AFTER Nicole if she gives us the go-ahead because I think I'll get more benefit from having 100% for her.

She's amazing BTW. She is so motivating and looks AMAZING. Just looking at her is motivating. I feel so blessed to have gotten placed in her team. I'm sure the other trainer is good as well, but I still feel lucky! I can't imagine doing this on my own.

As far as my goals...I'm about 7-10 lbs down, still about 45 to go till I get to a healthy-for-me weight.

week 2

This begins week 2. Workout tonight with Nicole.

Today I'd like to write about the effect of grief on a person's life. Many reading this know that I have four angels in heaven, two within the last year. This has had a tremendous impact on me in way that words cannot even express. This month marks the 1 year anniversary of my 3rd baby angel....probably the most difficult to deal with as I was 14 weeks along.

Before becoming pregnant with "Corey" I was relatively healthy. I had recently lost about 40 pounds, I ate well and did do some exercise. After losing the baby I become very depressed, stopped caring about anything and was angry at my body for failing me....February saw another loss that just compounded the problem, along with some other personal grief that has been ongoing for the last 5 years. I got to the point where I didn't even want to breathe...it just hurt too much.

I still have moments like that, but I am realizing that I need to focus on my four beautiful gifts that I have living here on earth. My goal through this Fit4Life program is to be physically healthier for them...the emotional stuff takes time...grief is like that though.

I'd like to say that right now days are bright and sunny, but unfortunately that is not true. There are rain clouds and storms right at my door, but I am choosing to not dwell on them and let that bring me down, to discourage me or distract me. I have a wonderful God that loves me, and I am not going to live in grief any longer. Will it still get me down occasionally, of course.


Part 2! Workout with Nicole...OMG! I'm continuously amazed at how far I can push my body. I still was not able to keep up on many levels, which was quite discouraging. I felt like I was the only one doing less than everyone else. I'm not giving up though. I'm not giving in. I'm going to keep pushing forward!

days 5,6,&7

I admit I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed with the responsibility of this challenge. I also have to send in blog posts and log food now for myself and Megan. It's been pretty exhausting to say the least.

Haven't missed a day at the gym now in 12 days...the kids had the weekend off though. They're going enough, and I do not want to make it not fun for them or an added burden. They have a lot on their plates now too.

Let's see...Friday was cardio, again. Saturday was Aqua Zumba...man was the air COLD! The pool is heated but it was about 50 degrees outside. I treated myself to the hot tub afterwards. Today I went and did more cardio. I saw several other folks there who are in the program as well.

I have a lot of other things on my plate right now and I find the gym a bit therapeutic. Even though I have tons of things at home that need to be done, when I'm feeling low I can go to the gym and refocus on something other than everything else that seems to be falling apart around me.

Food is still a struggle. I'm fine eating whatever (although I tried frozen soybeans today and they were disgusting). My favorite thing right now is a simple Flat Out (kind of like a tortilla) with a TBS of almond butter and some of Becky Conard's blackberry preserves. I roll it up and away I go, perfect for when I don't have time to cook something.

The kids are being a bit more of a hard sell. They've gone through lots of cheese sticks and apples for snacks though. It's amazing what they will eat when the junk isn't around.

Hopefully I can blog a bit better next week. We'll see.

Day 4

It's amazing what a day off will do for you!

Today I did some grocery shopping and stocked up on some healthier alternatives for the kids (Kashi bars), whole wheat tortillas, fresh broccoli and mango to name a few. Got home, made grilled chicken and roasted butternut squash for dinner (Megan wasn't impressed with the squash and didn't eat it), but it tasted so good. Made it to the gym for a little cardio before our first meeting with the nutrition guru. I'm not feeling overwhelmed but optimistic. She wants me eating 1,700 calories a day, Megan 2,000 and Matthew and Ben 2,300. I have to admit that number seemed high to me but I'm a black or white kind of person and when I think weight loss I automatically think reduce reduce reduce...count count count. Hey, that's what I'm good at, you know! I'm either dieting or not dieting. I've never in my life been able to find an in between.
So, I came home and had a snack...

This weekend is going to be extra busy so it will be interesting how I'm going to fit in our nightly workout. I have a white chicken chili in the crockpot now for lunch and dinner tomorrow. Kids won't eat that...I'll have to come up with something quick for them...maybe some chicken and cheese quesidillas on whole wheat tortillas for dinner. Getting veggies into them is going to be tough, tough, tough. Megan will eat broccoli and carrots. Ben likes veggies such as pumpkin, squash and maybe peas. Matthew will eat broccoli, cucumbers, maybe carrots...maybe maybe cauliflower. Me, I'll eat just about any veggie other than brussel sprouts and lima beans (EWWWWW). I'm going to have to get the sneaky foods book!

Zachy is a picky 2 year old who will eat one thing one day and then refuse it the next. Got to love 2 year olds.

All in all I'm sore but feeling good. I'll feel better once that number on the scale starts falling...I know, I know...don't worry folks. I'm doing it right this time.

Day 3

The real world is messy. My goal through this blog is to show that even when though life often gets in the way, it is critical to keep your eyes forward and not get downtroden by the day to day.

Today I am emotionally exhausted. I came home from work to find my kitchen filled with ants, the kids with bad homework grades, laundry piled up and little time for dinner. All I could do was take a deep breath and plunge in.

The kids are doing their best, even though this is difficult for them. This is all new to us, all of us. Tonight was workout with Nicole...wow...that was tough. I didn't think it was easy, but the words "I can't" came to my mind and even out of my mouth once. That's when I determined to shut up and keep moving forward. I can...we can....we will.

Megan's blog: I have muscles that hurt that I didn't know I had!

That about sums it up!

Day 2

A lack of sleep is directly proportional to hunger the next day.

I slept horribly last night. Just one of those nights where I could not fall into that deep sleep. I tossed and turned all night. Ugh. Today, I felt FAMISHED. I was drooling over the nasty pancakes on a stick the kids have for breakfast.(which I did NOT eat) That's when I knew I was in trouble.

I still stayed in my calorie limit, but also experienced a significant lack of energy. My workout tonight suffered for it (although I did the death machine first and it wasn't nearly as bad as waiting until doing it last).

The kids are struggling too...I think we're all tired. There is no school Thursday, so it will be nice to sleep in, catch up on housework, and get a chance to be refreshed. Thursday is also our first nutrition class, and hopefully I can gain some ideas on how to get these kids to eat healthy. I need very quick meals that are healthy...

Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight.

Physically our bodies are hanging in there. We're a bit tired and achy. I made sure I took something before I went to the gym to help.

One interesting thing Nicole told me was to make sure my exertion was never at a 10 on a scale of 1-10. If you're at an 8-10 then you're not in the fat burning zone. I tend to push myself to the limit, and I am being told that it is counter productive. That's a hard lesson to learn as I'm a 110% kind of person. But I'm going to trust my trainer and back down, and stop watching the calorie numbers.

But tonight I'm going to give sleep 110%....darn...just realized I missed Biggest Loser...Oh well, there are definitely more important things like laundry and dishes that need attention!

Day 7/1

After today I'm starting counting with today being 1.

Met with Nicole today and got our cardio workouts to be done when she's not working with us. A few of the machines just about did me in...I admit...I thought I was doing well...ha ha ha ha ha! The sheets have 3 different levels for 5 different machines...treadmill, bicycle, ARC trainer, elliptical, and then this other thing that I'm just going to call the death machine...I can't think of the name of it.

On the way out of the gym we were all pretty much just moaning...We had gone 45 minutes ahead of time and worked out as well as we have to do 10 minutes of warm up and 20 minutes of cardio in addition to any time with Nicole. We're doing it beforehand so we can get home earlier. It means rushing, but we really need to be in bed by 9. Here it is 9 and I have one still doing homework, but lunches are made showers are almost done...we're getting closer. It's just a matter of working it all out.

I'm too tired to write anything else....

Day 6

Today is Sunday. It was supposed to be my day of rest. Of course we got home from church and the kids started being kids...chaos abounded. I was getting angry. I could feel it rising. Usually I would respond with yelling (I admit). Instead I decided to take care of me. I went to the gym. Spent 2 hours knocking out my frustrations in a positive way. It wasn't easy, I admit. I've been fighting a migrane for 2 days. But I had to do something...and yelling wasn't going to be an option.

I've also had some personal frustration on other levels today, and feel like I NEED something constructive to do in order to deal with it. It's stuff I cannot fix...and that is very frustrating to me. I'm not a control freak, but I like feeling like I know what's going on and what's coming next. I don't feel that right now so part of my NEED to go to the gym was to control something I could control.

So tomorrow is the big day...day 1.

Looking up, not back

Day 5

What a difference a week makes....

Last Saturday I spent most of the day sitting on the computer and consuming almost illegal amounts of chocolate. Oh I justified it for many reasons, but bottom line was my will was not there and I was feeling sorry for myself for a variety of reasons. I was having a rough day and figured it didn't matter anyway.

Now fast forward to this Saturday. Megan and I got up early and was at the gym by 8am. We did our hour of Aqua Zumba (which I really enjoyed by the way) and then came home. By 11:30 we were back at the gym. I did my hour of cardio while the kids swam and did the water slides (hey, guess what, each time you went down the slide it meant you had to climb 3 flights of stairs!). They were exercising and didn't know it! Zachary enjoyed the pool as well after my workout was over.

Tomorrow is Sunday and I'm going to force myself to have a day of rest. We all deserve it!

But still.. it's only been 5 days...why the change? Well once you get going you don't want to stop. Starting is the hard part. It's like going down a hill though. The momentum gets you and you just keep going.

Today I tackled the Crosstrainer. It's kind of like an eliptical of sorts. After 5 minutes, okay, actually after about 2 minutes, I was ready to call it quits. My hip and knees hurt and I figured it just wasn't for me. Then I thought about next week when it's not going to be an option to not do it...so I stuck to it, pressed through and made it 30 minutes! Woo Hoo Me!!

My goal, as simple as it may sound, is to be able to run 1 mile...that's it...just one (more would be nice but I'm making a small goal).

Now this sounds like it's a lot about me obessessing over food and exercise. I'm not...I'm focused...focus and obsession are two different things. I'm using this as an opportunity to really do something that's not only good for myself but for my family. To make a life change. It's not about the contest...okay, maybe a little part of me would love to win...but it's about doing something about how I feel, and making sure I will be around for my kids for the next 30 or more years. It's also about helping my kids not be in this same position 20 years from now. It's about breaking the cycle.

Maybe you were part of the clean-your-plate club like I was when you were growing up. After all, there were starving children in Africa that would love to have those Brussel Sprouts and liver that were on your plate. I offered to send them, but like most moms she just made me sit there and eat them. Now I have kids, and to prevent that scenario I have offered them all kid-friendly foods...mac and cheese, tater tots, hot dogs, hamburgers, sugary cereal, syrup-like syrup for their French toast sticks, etc. When we were growing up these were a treat...now it's common. You don't even want to get me going on what they serve kids in school!

Anyway, my kids are addicted to this stuff...even after spending an hour in the gym just driving by those Golden Arches evokes instantaneous drool from my kids and yowling about how hungry they are and how they can't wait the 5 minutes it takes to get home. I try to tell them that once they stop eating it their bodies will stop craving it...they don't believe me.

I do have concerns that my denial of these foods will lead to other behaviors that may be less than desireable, such as sneaking food, lying about what they've eaten, or becoming obsessed about calories. After all, they are kids, and the last thing I want them to have is the baggage I grew up with and carried throughout my 20's. I swung the pendulum...being the fat kid to struggling with eating anything because of the calorie count. Oh, I can lose weight....but this time it's different. It has to be. I have to show my kids that it is NOT ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT!!! It is about being healthy, fit, active, making good choices, and treating their bodies the way they should be treated. It's also about teamwork, faith, perseverance, and family....

I will say this again and again and again...IT'S NOT ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT!!!

I don't care if my kids don't lose (or gain in Ben's case) a single pound. I just want them to be healthy!!!!

Monday is our first training session with Amazing Nicole. I'm looking forward to it but realize that this past 5 days is NOTHING compared to what she's going to expect of me. But here's to moving forward...moving up....and not looking back.

Day 3

Not feelin' hot today. I took Nyquil before bed last night and while it helps me sleep, I sleep great for about 4 hours and then I'm WIDE AWAKE!! Fever seems to be gone though, which helps a great deal in getting stuff done around the house. It's amazing how quickly things fall apart when there just isn't the time for routine pickup (especially when you're doing it yourself). The kids help some...empty the dishwasher, put their clothes away, etc. but they have enough homework to keep them busy.

Tonight Megan and I are going to do regular Zumba. Ben gets to hang out at the pool and Matthew and Zachy will be hanging out in the kids' room. I think it will be a good break for everyone seeing the last three days Ben, Megan and I have done the treadmill, bikes and eliptical. It's almost like a treat!

I'm getting a battery for my BodyBugg today. If you don't know what that is then think about Biggest Loser. It's that device they wear on their arm. It monitors your caloric burn, activity level and steps, and then you upload that to the computer to keep track. Bottom line, if you burn 1,000 calories a day MORE than what you eat, you lose 2 lbs a week. It worked last year when I lost 40 lbs. Unfortunately, after losing the baby I put all that back on. Grief is like that....I'll do a seperate post about that later.

Tomorrow is Saturday though. Megan and I are going to do Aqua Zumba in the morning (Zumba in the pool) and Ben gets to free swim if he passes the swim test. Matthew gets to do Splash and Fun in the Rec pool. Zachy does not complain about going to the gym. He actually gets excited. Of course new toys and lots of Thomas trains help!

I have to remember that it's been less than a week, and results are not going to be instantaneous. It takes time. I have a lot of bad habits to undo. Discouragement is not an option.

Day 2

Well day 2 held promises to be a much better day. I got off from work earlier and thought I'd have lots of time to make a great dinner and still get things done around the house. It didn't work out that way for many reasons. Instead I had a bowl of cheerios before I left and then made dinner when we got back. I hate eating that late.

I felt a bit encouraged at my first temptation...a huge tray of cupcakes in the teachers' lounge. I did end up taking one bite, and then realizing it didn't taste as good as it looked, I spit it out and threw the rest away.

The gym went well..Ben did over 6 miles on the bike and another 2 on the treadmill. Megan and I buddied up and did the treadmill, elipitical and row machine. Megan's a good motivator. She kept saying "so, what's next?". I also made a new goal for myself...did 20 minutes on the eliptical...never been able to do that before. I had to press through the pain my feet were feeling, but it was a good feeling to have sweat dripping into my face. Strange, huh? It felt good to sweat.

Matthew got to swim, which made his night.

On a bad note...I'm sick...sick sick...fever, stuffy nose, crabby kind of sick. Ugh...got to keep moving forward though.

I also think there's a secret third team the gym has...I saw another group getting measured...a group that was not there on the first night when the first two teams were...wonder what's up with that? I hope they don't throw us a curve ball...I don't like curve balls.

So the day to day stuff has gotten me down today but tomorrow is going to be better...it has to be.

Day 1 Lopus Fit 4 Life

In introduction:

Most who are reading this know all about us, but for those who don't I'll share a bit about our family.

Jeff: the dad...currently deployed to Iraq

Mary: the mom...currently an exhausted and under-appreciated substitute teacher

Ben: the oldest..13 years old, enjoys reading, anything computers and Legos and is hopelessly misunderstood by most people

Megan: the only girl...11, enjoys cooking, Facebook and watching funny Youtube videos.

Matthew: 8 years old and the family jokester...Matthew enjoys all video games and playing with friends. He keeps our lives intersting!

Zachary: 2 years old...the baby and too cute for his own good. Favorite activities include coloring on the walls and feeding the dog things she shouldn't be eating.

The kids and I decided to apply for Family Fit 4 Life offered through The Arena Club in Churchville, MD for many reasons. The first, and most obvious reason, was that we, as a family, are terribly out of shape. Fit is nowhere in our vocabulary. Our typical schedule involves school, homework, dinner, television...repeat. Weekends typically throw in church, but for the most part we are a pretty inactive family. The product of this lack of activity is that myself and two of my children would be considered overweight. Ben and Zachary are holding their own, but what kind of future would Zachary have if we all continue in this path?

So we applied and prayed...and got accepted! We are all very excited. It is NOT going to be an easy journey. It is going to require hard work and dedication from all of us. This is not just a competition to see who can lose the most weight, but it will CHANGE OUR LIVES...if we let it...We will be given all the tools, but it is up to us to use them.

There are several specific challenges I see us facing.

1. time...with me working, the kids' homework and JBQ practice, church activities, laundry, dishes, etc....it's going to take some flexibility. Certain things will have to be put on hold as we will be LIVING at the gym at least 5 days a week. We will work with our awesome and WONDERFUL trainer Nicole on Monday and Wednesday nights, nutrition counseling on Thursday nights and at least 2 other nights per week. My goal is to make it there 6 days a week with taking Saturday to rest. Not going to the gym will NOT be an option...if we're breathing, we're going.

2. food...the kids like traditional kid foods...sugary cereal, pizza, tacos, pasta, Pop Tarts, fast food. It's going to take REAL dedication and planning to break out of this habit. Some nights the time issue (see above) makes it very easy to just hit the drive thru and be done. I am going to need to be creative to come up with healthy choices that the kids like, as well as packing lunches for school (see again issue #1).

3. pain...I hate pain. My knees are already screaming. I am almost 40 years old and feel like I have the body of someone who is 80 (not to offend anyone who is 80, but you get the idea). I worry that my body will not be up to the challenge. I don't worry about the kids so much...their bodies haven't taken the beatings my body has taken...I've just never been one for exercise.

4. the mind...If anyone knows me or my story they know that I can lose weight...I've done it before. Now mind you I did NOT do it in the right way and I've paid for that for my entire life (I'll get into that another day). When I am overwhelmed (see issues #1 and #2) I tend to eat junk. When I am happy I tend to want to celebrate with food. When I am tired I tend to eat more. When the kids are bored they eat...you get the picture...

So now that I've talked about the obstacles let me talk about what we are going to get out of this...

It will teach my children teamwork, perseverance, motivation, time management, self control, improved self esteem...again, get the picture? Regardless of all the obstacles we face, the payoff is HUGE. Regardless of if we win or lose the competition, we will be the biggest winners just on what we will gain.

So day 1...measurements...I won't post exact measurements but I will say I am almost the heaviest (with the exception of pregnancies) I have ever been. I will also spare the children from posting any specifics. But we will ALL work hard toward our goals, and will achieve.

So here's to a new healthy lifestyle and life for the entire Lopus clan (even Jeff because I know he'd be cheering us on if he was here).