Yup...week 11. One more week after this...10 more days till the final weigh in. I'm stressed. I haven't lost hardly anything since the 6 week weigh in. I know I've changed...clothes feel different, pants I just got a few weeks ago are too big already...but still...that weight...ugh, ugh, ugh. Hopefully I can pull off a good number the final week like I did with the last weigh in. Time to pump up the water intake.
It's hard to believe we're almost done. Have I reached all of my goals? No, definitely not, but I feel like I'm a good way there. I don't feel stuck in the should of's anymore. I'm in the doing mode, and will hopefully stay there for awhile.
The kids and I will all be glad when the competition aspect of this is over. We're not really a competitive family. I mean, we like to win, but I feel like we've all done our best...each family on our team has really tried hard. I don't think it's fair to say that there's one that has tried harder. Maybe one has achieved more...but I think we've all tried OUR BEST...at least I know our family has, and to think we might not "win" even when we tried our best??? We also came into this as a very out of shape family, whereas some had a few steps ahead of us...is that a fair measure?
Oh well, I know we won't "win" but I'm not going to give up this close to the end. I'm going to get the best possible number I can get, and when it's done and over I'll know I did my absolute best.
I'm going to try and get my head into the game this week as much as possible, focus on what I can do and push myself further than I've ever been pushed before. Hopefully make my trainer proud!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Monday week 6
Tonight Nicole told us that we were going to run a mile. Yeah, right I thought. Up to this point the longest I have run was 3 1/2 minutes (or about .2 of a mile). So I started and I was about ready to quit when I hit the 3 minute mark. So I said, surely I can make it to 4 minutes. I got there and thought, well no one else has stopped so I better keep going. I hit the 5 minute mark. Then came the 1/2 mile mark and I thought, I have NEVER run a half mile in my life! (okay maybe I did in grade school but I'm pretty sure I walked some of that). Still no one had quit so I wasn't going to either...I tried to focus on my breathing as my asthma was starting to kick in and I was feeling short of breath...I just kept moving and breathing. Mind you this was a very slow run LOL. Nicole kicked it up for a bit and I had to take it back down because I just couldn't catch my breathe, but once I did I finished up and hit that mile! ACK!!! I can't believe I did it!
Now I didn't do it quickly...12:34, but I finished, and I didn't walk.
Now I didn't do it quickly...12:34, but I finished, and I didn't walk.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday week 5
Hard to believe it's week 5 already. Next week is the first weigh-in. I'm nervous, and kind of cranky about it in all honesty. My weight fluctuates so much, and next week I'm due to fluctuate even more, if you know what I mean. Oh well, I'll do my best as usual.
Pain has seemed to hinder me lately. My knees and back have limited me on several things. Zumba last night was rough on my knees. I noticed last night on Biggest Loser people in ice baths...not sure I could handle that! Maybe some Icy Hot, but ice baths??? I'm also getting a bit of a cold...yuck.
The kids and I have a lot of responsibilities on our plate as well. Megan and Matthew have JBQ to practice for, and the three older ones have tons of homework of course. It's always an issue though. I wish there were two of me!
So just plugging through this week, trying to keep my head up and looking forward.
Pain has seemed to hinder me lately. My knees and back have limited me on several things. Zumba last night was rough on my knees. I noticed last night on Biggest Loser people in ice baths...not sure I could handle that! Maybe some Icy Hot, but ice baths??? I'm also getting a bit of a cold...yuck.
The kids and I have a lot of responsibilities on our plate as well. Megan and Matthew have JBQ to practice for, and the three older ones have tons of homework of course. It's always an issue though. I wish there were two of me!
So just plugging through this week, trying to keep my head up and looking forward.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Saturday week 4
Today was a hard day for me. Today marked one year since I found out my Corey had passed away. I remember that night like it was yesterday, listening frantically for the heartbeat, feeling that pit in my stomach, getting the news from the doctor, and my whole world crashing down around me. This baby was different, although I hold all my losses in my heart. I had felt this baby move, seen this baby on ultrasound, connected. My world will never be the same.
For those who don't know I felt the need to name my babies in alphabetical order...Aerin, Bailey, Corey and Drew. I didn't know the gender of any of my babies, although I'm pretty sure Corey was a girl. I just had that feeling from the beginning. Corey's name was going to be Kaitlyn Elizabeth, but in keeping with the alphabetical order I chose Corey as the angel name.
I do hold on to the faith that some day, in some way, I will be reunited with all my children. What a wonderful day that will be.
It's unknown if my health had anything to do with my losses. But this journey is not just one about being fit and eating healthy. It's about being healthy in body, mind and soul. I'm working on the body part, the mind is a bit slower going, and recognizing my baby today helps heal the soul.
For those who don't know I felt the need to name my babies in alphabetical order...Aerin, Bailey, Corey and Drew. I didn't know the gender of any of my babies, although I'm pretty sure Corey was a girl. I just had that feeling from the beginning. Corey's name was going to be Kaitlyn Elizabeth, but in keeping with the alphabetical order I chose Corey as the angel name.
I do hold on to the faith that some day, in some way, I will be reunited with all my children. What a wonderful day that will be.
It's unknown if my health had anything to do with my losses. But this journey is not just one about being fit and eating healthy. It's about being healthy in body, mind and soul. I'm working on the body part, the mind is a bit slower going, and recognizing my baby today helps heal the soul.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Wednesday week 4
I wish I could say that I feel amazing about this week. It's been a real mental struggle for me. A year ago on Saturday I lost my little angel Corey. It has been hard to process everything emotionally right now as there is so much going on. I'm sure stress has a lot to do with my performance at the gym and at home. I'm having a hard time focusing on the here and now and not the uncertainties of the future.
I'm also very sore. I feel weak...tired...wore out...I know I need to take a break but I'm afraid to. I don't want to be weak, I want to be strong. I feel like when I am at the gym and doing workouts they are only a fraction of what everyone else is doing, so by going to the gym every day I am trying to compensate for doing less. I'm not trying to do less...I just am struggling to keep up. I just feel like I'm falling apart in all areas. The kids are struggling in school, the house is a mess, I am forgetting and losing things left and right. I don't blame any of this on the gym or working out. I'm just tired I think.
With that said, I have to be strong. I have to pick myself up and keep going. It's just who I am.
I'm also very sore. I feel weak...tired...wore out...I know I need to take a break but I'm afraid to. I don't want to be weak, I want to be strong. I feel like when I am at the gym and doing workouts they are only a fraction of what everyone else is doing, so by going to the gym every day I am trying to compensate for doing less. I'm not trying to do less...I just am struggling to keep up. I just feel like I'm falling apart in all areas. The kids are struggling in school, the house is a mess, I am forgetting and losing things left and right. I don't blame any of this on the gym or working out. I'm just tired I think.
With that said, I have to be strong. I have to pick myself up and keep going. It's just who I am.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Week 4
Crazy how it's already week 4. I was thinking this morning about how life has changed in the last month...here are a few examples...
Before: breakfast...for the kids: sugary cereal, pop tarts or no breakfast at all, french toast sticks with syrup MYSELF: cereal and coffee or McDonald's
After: for the kids: whole grain waffle with peanut butter, protein shake, or scrambled Egg Beaters with whole wheat toast MYSELF: Kashi waffle with Egg Beaters, Flatout with almond butter and preserves or Kashi granola bar with Greek yogurt
Before: Lunch...the kids: school lunch, normally pizza or nachos with chocolate milk and ice cream or chips MYSELF before: sandwich, chips, or burger and fries, school lunch maybe, After: (for Megan, the boys are still eating school lunch but are making better choices) low-sodium turkey on whole wheat bread, light cheese stick, fruit, water and maybe a granola bar or rice cakes MYSELF: after Flatout with almond butter and preserves or leftover fish with veggies, salad with tomatoes and lite dressing, grapefruit wedges.
Before: snacks for the kids: pop tarts, Cheeszits, cereal, cookies MYSELF: vending machine candy or chips, pretzels After: kids...cheese sticks, apples, rice cakes (really limited snacks in all honesty) MYSELF: Kashi bar
Before: Dinner for kids and myself: fast food drive thru...usually cheeseburger and fries or soft tacos, chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, toquitos, usually no veggies of any kind.
After: grilled chicken or fish, brown rice, broccoli, carrots or green beans, white chicken chili, chicken and cheese quesidillas on whole wheat tortillas (for a quick dinner), homemade chicken nuggets, squash.
As you can see, things have changed greatly. It will be interesting with the holidays coming up. Halloween means candy, and I will need to be on top of that. We did try and eat out yesterday for the first time. We went to Applebees, which I thought would be a good choice due to their 550 meals. Little did I know the sodium content on the meal! OMG! Megan's mini cheeseburgers were almost 500 calories EACH! (she only ate one). The meal was undercooked, overpriced and wayyyy disappointing. I walked away so disgusted, and now I realize why it's just not worth eating out.
So tonight is our first challenge...a bike challenge. I'm pretty sure I won't do well. My knees have gotten the best of me, as have Megan's, and I'd rather not injure myself. I'd rather stay in the competition than be benched for an injury, so while I will do my best, I'm not going to push myself over the edge.
It's been a good 4 weeks. I wish I would see more of a difference on the scale. 10lbs so far...wish it was more...a lot more, but 10 lbs is 10 lbs. Ben's grown 1/2 an inch and gained 4 lbs so that's great!
Before: breakfast...for the kids: sugary cereal, pop tarts or no breakfast at all, french toast sticks with syrup MYSELF: cereal and coffee or McDonald's
After: for the kids: whole grain waffle with peanut butter, protein shake, or scrambled Egg Beaters with whole wheat toast MYSELF: Kashi waffle with Egg Beaters, Flatout with almond butter and preserves or Kashi granola bar with Greek yogurt
Before: Lunch...the kids: school lunch, normally pizza or nachos with chocolate milk and ice cream or chips MYSELF before: sandwich, chips, or burger and fries, school lunch maybe, After: (for Megan, the boys are still eating school lunch but are making better choices) low-sodium turkey on whole wheat bread, light cheese stick, fruit, water and maybe a granola bar or rice cakes MYSELF: after Flatout with almond butter and preserves or leftover fish with veggies, salad with tomatoes and lite dressing, grapefruit wedges.
Before: snacks for the kids: pop tarts, Cheeszits, cereal, cookies MYSELF: vending machine candy or chips, pretzels After: kids...cheese sticks, apples, rice cakes (really limited snacks in all honesty) MYSELF: Kashi bar
Before: Dinner for kids and myself: fast food drive thru...usually cheeseburger and fries or soft tacos, chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, toquitos, usually no veggies of any kind.
After: grilled chicken or fish, brown rice, broccoli, carrots or green beans, white chicken chili, chicken and cheese quesidillas on whole wheat tortillas (for a quick dinner), homemade chicken nuggets, squash.
As you can see, things have changed greatly. It will be interesting with the holidays coming up. Halloween means candy, and I will need to be on top of that. We did try and eat out yesterday for the first time. We went to Applebees, which I thought would be a good choice due to their 550 meals. Little did I know the sodium content on the meal! OMG! Megan's mini cheeseburgers were almost 500 calories EACH! (she only ate one). The meal was undercooked, overpriced and wayyyy disappointing. I walked away so disgusted, and now I realize why it's just not worth eating out.
So tonight is our first challenge...a bike challenge. I'm pretty sure I won't do well. My knees have gotten the best of me, as have Megan's, and I'd rather not injure myself. I'd rather stay in the competition than be benched for an injury, so while I will do my best, I'm not going to push myself over the edge.
It's been a good 4 weeks. I wish I would see more of a difference on the scale. 10lbs so far...wish it was more...a lot more, but 10 lbs is 10 lbs. Ben's grown 1/2 an inch and gained 4 lbs so that's great!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Wednesday week 3
Yeah, I'm tired. I'm also working a full week this week on top of everything. Saturday will be busy as well, so hopefully I can recover some on Sunday. Tonight was our weight workout with Nicole. She gave us a program to work as well as cardio, so twice a week on TOP of our twice a week with her we are to do our 45-60 minutes of cardio as well as our 45 minute weight routine...WHEW! Yeah, tough stuff.
We also have our first challenge on Monday...bikes...I'm not that great at bikes so it's going to be interesting. My legs may not be up to the challenge, but I'll do my best.
My knee has been giving me some trouble, and tonight my stomach is protesting something as well. Megan is struggling to find motivation, but I have to remind myself that she is only 11. I wish I hadn't had her count for points because I think it's going to hurt us more than anything. But I have to give her a chance. She's been trying as far as nutrition goes, but sometimes she just wants to emotionally eat. Tomorrow's nutrition class is on emotional eating, so hopefully that will help her as well.
We also have our first challenge on Monday...bikes...I'm not that great at bikes so it's going to be interesting. My legs may not be up to the challenge, but I'll do my best.
My knee has been giving me some trouble, and tonight my stomach is protesting something as well. Megan is struggling to find motivation, but I have to remind myself that she is only 11. I wish I hadn't had her count for points because I think it's going to hurt us more than anything. But I have to give her a chance. She's been trying as far as nutrition goes, but sometimes she just wants to emotionally eat. Tomorrow's nutrition class is on emotional eating, so hopefully that will help her as well.
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